Progressive Muscle Relaxation

This week has been rough.  My husband, Adam, and I are taking some time “off” of our relationship. More specifically, we are separating for a month because of my physical and mental struggles.  I never thought we would be in this place and it has about killed me.  Adam loves me very much, but he often doesn’t know how to show that love in a way that I feel loved.

It’s complicated.

I am not trying to dry dirty laundry out for all to see.  I’m just explaining why it’s been so hard this week.

Therapist’s Suggestion

Our couple’s therapist told me this week that I need to be “more like Helen Keller.” 

I need to embody her spirit, pull myself up by my bootstraps, create and work and be the person I can be if I just try hard enough.

“You don’t have Lou Gehrig’s disease, Rachel,” he pointed out.  My first thought to that was He has no idea about Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Does he want me to be blind and deaf like Helen Keller?  Because I’d have to be blind and deaf to my circumstances, to the reality I have been working SO HARD on accepting this past year. 

My other thought was Do you really have any idea how Helen Keller felt?  She was a positive role model and said inspiring things, but I guarantee you she had a lot of low days too.

It’s amazing how one comment can set me back so hard.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation Script

Because I am so stressed and anxious, I am going to practice a Progressive Muscle Relaxation exercise.  My therapists at Discovery used this a few times with us, and the script is from TherapistAid.com

1.     Sit or lie down in a comfortable position.  Shut your eyes if you are comfortable doing so.

2.     Begin by taking a deep breath and noticing the feeling of air filling your lungs.  Hold your breath for a few seconds.

(brief pause)

3.     Release the breath slowly and let the tension leave your body.

4.     Take in another deep breath and hold it.

(brief pause)

5.     Again, slowly release the air.

6.     Even slower now, take another breath.  Fill your lungs and hold the air.

(brief pause)

7.     Slowly release the breath and imagine the feeling of tension leaving your body.

8.     Now, move your attention to your feet.  Begin to tense your feet by curling your toes and the arch of your foot.  Hold onto the tension and notice what it feels like.

(5 second pause)

9.     Release the tension in your foot.  Notice the new feeling of relaxation.

10.  Next, begin to focus on your lower leg.  Tense the muscles in your calves. Hold them tightly and pay attention to the feeling of tension.

(5 second pause)

11.  Release the tension from your lower legs. Again, notice the feeling of relaxation.  Remember to continue taking deep breaths.

12.  Next, tense the muscles of your upper leg and pelvis.  You can do this by tightly squeezing your thighs together.  Make sure you feel tenseness without going to the point of strain.

(5 second pause)

13.  And release.  Feel the tension leave your muscles.

14.  Begin to tense your stomach and chest.  You can do this by sucking your stomach in.  Squeeze harder and hold the tension.  A little bit longer.

(5 second pause)

15.  Release the tension. Allow your body to go limp.  Let yourself notice the feeling of relaxation.

16.  Continue taking deep breaths.  Breathe in slowly, noticing the air fill your lungs and hold it.

(brief pause)

17.  Release the air slowly. Feel it leaving your lungs.

18.  Next, tense the muscles in your back by bringing your shoulders together behind you.  Hold them tightly. Tense them as hard as you can without straining and keep holding.

(5 second pause)

19.  Release the tension from your back.  Feel the tension slowly leaving your body, and the new feeling of relaxation.  Notice how different your body feels when you allow it to relax.

20.  Tense your arms all the way from your hands to your shoulders.  Make a fist and squeeze all the way up your arm.  Hold it.

(5 second pause)

21.  Release the tension from your arms and shoulders.  Notice the feeling of relaxation in your fingers, hands, arms, and shoulders.  Notice how your arms feel limp and at ease.

22.  Move up to your neck and your head.  Tense your face and your neck by distorting the muscles around your eyes and mouth.

(5 second pause)

23.  Release the tension.  Again, notice the feeling of relaxation.

24.  Finally tense your entire body.  Tense your feet, legs, stomach, chest, arms, head, back and neck.  Tense harder, without straining.  Hold  the tension.

25.  Now release.  Allow your whole body to go limp.  Pay attention to the feeling of relaxation, and how different it is from the feeling of tension.

26.  Begin to wake up your body by slowly moving your muscles.  Adjust your arms and legs.

27.  Stretch your muscles and open your eyes when you’re ready.