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This Past Year’s Musings, Part V

…Continued from Part IV September 21, 2024 Once the Emergency Department stabilized my blood pressure, a nurse walked me down to a wing of the hospital which I dubbed “The Holding Area.”  It is specifically a space to hold mental health patients until a room can be found for them at an inpatient facility. The […]

This Past Year’s Musings, Part IV

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash Continued from Part III, “I was working on myself… trying to get better, trying to get a job and trying not to spend money, all things that he wanted/needed.  Would he be willing to work on the things that I needed too?” Adam said no.  He believed that there are just some […]

This Past Year’s Musings, Part III

Photo by Chunfeng FENG on Unsplash Continued from Part II, “That no matter how much I loved Adam (and he me), he was hurting me. That I literally might not make it if I stayed with him and didn’t change something.… Being with Adam made my brain, my thoughts, my heart, my body, my sense of self, tangle […]

This Past Year’s Musings, Part I

This past year has been one of unspeakable pain. Of change. It has stolen my breath away, wrung me and hung me out to dry, taught me to think a different way. It’s been a year of endless treatment for my mental and physical health and it’s been a year of the deepest depression I’ve […]

This Past Year’s Musings, Part II

Photo by Chunfeng FENG on Unsplash December 2023-February 2024 Since I didn’t feel safe staying in residential treatment, a step down to PHP (Partial Hospitalization Program) was the next best thing.  Our schedule began at 9:00 in the morning, in which we had 3 1-hour sessions, broke for a 30-min lunch, and ended with 3 more 1-hour sessions.  […]

Living Life

It’s been…half a year since I blogged since I tinkered on this website since I worked on my book.    It’s been half a year Of deep deep depression Of fear, regret, shame, and pain All swallowing me whole Leaving nothing behind.   It’s been… more than a year That I’ve struggled with Death being […]

Behavioral Activation and Healthy vs. Unhealthy Coping Strategies

I’ve had an especially hard past 3 days, so I’ve been reviewing some materials on Behavioral Activation which I want to share here. I also have a worksheet that I will complete as an example, but provide to you too so you can also fill it out if you think it will be helpful. Just […]

More Thoughts on Dissociative Disorders

Self-portrait by Maria Louisa Vancea in her Depersonalization. Derealization series. In my last post we discussed the different types of dissociative disorders, what they have in common and how they are different.  I also acknowledged that I struggle with the Derealization type of dissociation.  Today, I want to add a brief note about how religion […]

Dissociation – A More Thorough Look

I mentioned dissociating last post and I figured I should probably explain this more fully.  A wonderful short video by Osmosis.org does an excellent job of this, which you can watch here: Anyone can dissociate.  Up to 75% of people have an out-of-body experience at least once in their lifetime, the National Alliance for Mental […]

My PTSD Journey

*Please know that there is some distressing material in the following post that could possibly trigger my other PTSD folks.* Well, I meant for this post to follow directly after the last one, but I’ve been caught up in moving my website to a different host, traveling home, pet sitting so I’m not at home, […]